Return to Relationship
As I labored through the day to discover a means of publishing my book, I find myself somewhat frustrated. There is no path that I have to follow to make this happen and several small pieces have to fall into place before I can actually do it. Furthermore, every time I change something in the text, it throws off the formatting of the entire document.
About midway through the afternoon, I stopped and began to simply seek God. This is a day of fasting and seeking God, but the work I was doing had no joy.
Oh, how I long to return to the simplicity of my relationship with God. There is nothing that stokes the fire in my heart more than an extended amount of time in prayer and Bible study with worship music playing in the back ground. Every time I somehow find two or more hours to simply soak in the truth, goodness, and beauty of God, I wonder why it has been so long since last time. Yet even so, I long for more. I feel like I have been stuffed into a duffle bag and can hardly breathe. I know what it is like to walk in freedom, but for some reason feel constrained. It is like I know the truth of who God made me to be, but cannot make it come to pass.
I am restricted to trust. But in this way, I am also empowered. My vision is not as great as the one created by God and I can only accomplish His grand design from a place of rest and worship. Stress and working can get me so far, but if He does not act, it is all worthless. Furthermore, if I forget that He is the whole point of everything, I find that my life becomes meaningless.
Thus, I am brought over the course of the past week to find that my foundation is outside of this world. The faith that I have been given to see the truth of what is can be demonstrated by how I live. Yet, the way that I live can so easily steal the focus from Who I live for.