The Never Ending Song
For the past many days my heart and my head have been filled with thoughts that swirl around like patterns of leaves caught in the fall breeze that sweeps across Minnesota this time of the year. My heart is filled to overflowing and expresses itself in music, in drawing, in writing, in encouraging other people, and in reaching moments of inexpressible joy. In the same way, my mind is constantly at work exploring new ideas, synthesizing information and creating opportunities. I am becoming more fully human than I ever expected human to be and yet have no way to describe what is taking place.
Yesterday in trying to make sense of it all, I spent two hours lying beneath the clouds on a grassy field in a state of prayer, sleep, total bewilderment, and absolute peace. It is like my system is so overloaded that the circuits are being rewritten to handle the increasing capacity of my heart and mind to feel, know, experience, grow, learn, explore, wonder, love and rest in joy.
In one sense my world is falling apart. But as the walls come crashing down around me, they reveal a world beyond that is filled with opportunity, with adventure, and unlimited revelation. Even this new vision, this expanded space, this unmanageable freedom is not the full reality. It is only the next step of a journey into the infinite goodness, holiness, mystery, love, and power that I know as God.
It is right that humans of all cultures should take to explaining the mysteries of creation in reference to an undefined deity. Within its context, everything has a shape, a purpose, and a definition. When I control that context, the meaning comes from my existence. Now, my control is slowly being overridden and the contextual clues to meaning are slipping away. In a fog of growing clarity, nature itself takes on the shape of swirling particles of matter. All things are in motion. Grasping for something concrete, my mind falls into the ordered commotion and becomes a harmony in the song of the universe.
Within the grand scale of time, space, and matter, I vanish into the symphony of beauty and become part of a much larger context. Though the conductor remains invisible, his fingerprints are at the heart of the composition. As I learn to play the part I have been given, my song falls under the sway of his hand and in this place, every other sound has its context. It is not mine, but it is good. I cannot control or define it, but I can wonder at its beauty, explore its mystery, and add to its virtue. My choice is ever constant: to close my ears to its call, or to lose myself in the cascading, expanding, resounding chorus that floods my heart and sweeps away my mind in a swelling chorus of love that echoes through eternity with a call for all mankind to join its never ending song.